"And there we strike Columbus River--pass me two or throe skeins of thread to stand for the river; the sugar bowl will do for Hawkeye, and the rat trap for Stone's Landing-Napoleon, I mean--and you can see how much better Napoleon is located than Hawkeye. Now here you are with your railroad complete, and showing its continuation to Hallelujah and thence to Corruptionville.
"Now then-them you are! It's a beautiful road, beautiful. Jeff Thompson can out-engineer any civil engineer that ever sighted through an aneroid, or a theodolite, or whatever they call it--he calls it sometimes one and sometimes the other just whichever levels off his sentence neatest, I reckon. But ain't it a ripping toad, though? I tell you, it'll make a stir when it gets along. Just see what a country it goes through. There's your onions at Slouchburg--noblest onion country that graces God's footstool; and there's your turnip country all around Doodleville-- bless my life, what fortunes are going to be made there when they get that contrivance perfected for extracting olive oil out of turnips--if there's any in them; and I reckon there is, because Congress has made an appropriation of money to test the thing, and they wouldn't have done that just on conjecture, of course. And now we come to the Brimstone region--cattle raised there till you can't rest--and corn, and all that sort of thing. Then you've got a little stretch along through Belshazzar that don't produce anything now--at least nothing but rocks--but irrigation will fetch it. Then from Catfish to Babylon it's a little swampy, but there's dead loads of peat down under there somewhere. Next is the Bloody Run and Hail Columbia country--tobacco enough can be raised there to support two such railroads. Next is the sassparilla region. I reckon there's enough of that truck along in there on the line of the pocket-knife, from Hail Columbia to Hark-from-the Tomb to fat up all the consumptives in all the hospitals from Halifax to the Holy Land. It just grows like weeds! I've got a little belt of sassparilla land in there just tucked away unobstrusively waiting for my little Universal Expectorant to get into shape in my head. And I'll fix that, you know. One of these days I'll have all the nations of the earth expecto--"
"But Beriah, dear--"
"Don't interrupt me; Polly--I don't want you to lose the run of the map-- well, take your toy-horse, James Fitz-James, if you must have it--and run along with you. Here, now--the soap will do for Babylon. Let me see-- where was I? Oh yes--now we run down to Stone's Lan--Napoleon--now we run down to Napoleon. Beautiful road. Look at that, now. Perfectly straight line-straight as the way to the grave. And see where it leaves Hawkeye-clear out in the cold, my dear, clear out in the cold. That town's as bound to die as--well if I owned it I'd get its obituary ready, now, and notify the mourners. Polly, mark my words--in three years from this, Hawkeye'll be a howling wilderness. You'll see. And just look at that river--noblest stream that meanders over the thirsty earth!-- calmest, gentlest artery that refreshes her weary bosom! Railroad goes all over it and all through it--wades right along on stilts. Seventeen bridges in three miles and a half-forty-nine bridges from Hark-from-the- Tomb to Stone's Landing altogether--forty nine bridges, and culverts enough to culvert creation itself! Hadn't skeins of thread enough to represent them all--but you get an idea--perfect trestle-work of bridges for seventy two miles: Jeff Thompson and I fixed all that, you know; he's to get the contracts and I'm to put them through on the divide. Just oceans of money in those bridges. It's the only part of the railroad I'm interested in,--down along the line--and it's all I want, too. It's enough, I should judge. Now here we are at Napoleon. Good enough country plenty good enough--all it wants is population. That's all right--that will come. And it's no bad country now for calmness and solitude, I can tell you--though there's no money in that, of course.